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Two Mexicans are Stranded in the Desert

Two Mexicans are stranded in the desert, on their last leg, about to die of thirst. They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance. As they get clos...

Those Dirty Pirates

A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him the tour. ''There's the plank for trouble makers, there's the deck that needs swabbing everyday and there's the barrel for all you sexual needs.'' ''Whatcha me...

Yo Mama So Ghetto

Yo mama's so ghetto, she keeps FunnyandJokes' Yo Mama Jokes bookmarked. (Hey wait, that's not funny!)  Yo mama so ghetto, she puts her food stamps in a money clip.  Yo mama so ghetto, her baby daddy and her boyfriend share a bunk-bed.Â...

little timmy

One day, when litte Timmy came back from home, his mother yelled at Timmys father,"fuck you",she said.Timmy asked his mom,"whats "fuck",he asked,oh,said his mother,it means your nice... "ok" said timmy,the next m...

Questions For Mother Camel

The little camel went to his mother and asked, "Mother, why do we camels have such big eyes?" She looked on him lovingly and replied, "You see, my son, when we are walking in the dessert and the wind starts to blowing and there's sand everywhere,...

Yo Mama Is So Black

Yo mama so black, every time she gets in a car the oil light comes on.  Yo mama so black, if she sat in a Jacuzzi the water would turn into coffee.  Yo mama so black, she bleeds smoke.  Yo mama so black, she could show up naked to a f...

One Liner Gay Jokes

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: When the big hand touches the little hand. Q: What do you call a gay bar with no place to sit? A: A fruit stand. Q: Why did the gay man get a job at the loading dock? ...

Yo Mama Hair So Short

Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches. Yo mama hair so short she curls it with rice.

Yo Mama’s Breath Is So Bad…

I'm sitting here at the computer, scouring the internet for the world's best bad breath jokes. Honestly, you'd think it'd be easier. I only found a few, and decided to twist it into "Yo Mama" style. Yo mama's breath is so bad that when she br...

The Eskimo and Scotsman

One afternoon, in a land where Eskimos and Scotsman run into each other on the highway fairly often, an Eskimo was driving down the road when his truck breaks down. Shortly after, a friendly Scotsman pulls off to the side of the road to help him....

Yo Mama House Is So Small

Yo mama house is so small that when she pur her key in the lock it broke the back window. Yo mama house is so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it. Yo mama house is so small you have to go outside to cha...

Yo Mama House Is So Dirty

Yo mama house is so dirty you can\'t tell where the dirt stops and it begins. Yo mama house is so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies! Yo mama house is so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside. Yo mama house is ...

What A Scary Flight

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the stewardess announces over the intercom that "we're just waiting for the pilots." The passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots walking towards the plane. Both men are u...

Getting Bank of America By The Balls

A little old lady walks into Bank of America and asks to open a savings account. The new accounts receptionist first thinks this is strange, probably because everyone is leaving them for credit unions now. At any rate, the accounts person asks he...

Yo Mama Head Is So Big

Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts. Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar. Yo mama head so big she has to wash her hair at Niagra Falls.

Yo Mama Glasses So Thick

Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

Yo Mama So Bald

Yo mama so bald even a wig wouldn't help! Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind. Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

The Not So Stupid Monkey

A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down and orders a drink, meanwhile the monkey is running around all over the place and jumps up on a pool table. He grabs the 8 ball, shoves it into his mouth and swallows it hole. "Holy crap!" ...

Random Yo Mamma Jokes

Yo mamma feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! Yo mamma aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back! Yo mamma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. It took yo mamma 10 tries to get her drivers license...

NASCAR Career Summary For Dale Jr

A man walks into a sports bar with his dog. A NASCAR Sprint Cup race is on a TV. He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt Jr. is doing. The bartender says "Dale Jr is in 35th, not doing so well". The man's dog jumps up, and runs around the barst...

50th Birthday Jokes

Just in case you've gotten so old you don't know if you've turned 50 years old yet, here are a few hints that you just might be over that hill... jokes if you will. And before you laugh, remember: we'll all get old eventually. Top 10 Signs Y...

shemales

Shemales shouldn’t be called shemales, normal women should be called SHE-males. There aint much about a shemale that’s female, believe me. I mean, I'm not saying I know from experience or anything thank Christ, like it kinda seemed like I do f...

Yo Mama Head Is So Small

Yo mama head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow. Yo mama head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.

Whisky Dick

So I meet this girl at a bar last weekend, and after drinking heavily for a few hours, proceed to go back to her place. Pretty awesome?…Yes. Well we start messing around or whatever and things were grand but when it bumped up a notch and push ca...

Stool Sample

A man goes to the Doctor complaining of a possuble hemorroid and the Doctor says "Okay I need a urine sample, a stool sample, a semen sample, a blood sample and a sample of the hemorroid." After hearing this, the man swiftly takes off hi...

Yo Mama Nose Is So Big

Yo mama nose is so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat! Yo mama nose is so big that her neck broke from the weight!

More One Liner Gay Jokes

Three gays are in a spa bath - Suddenly a blob of semen floats to the surface of the spa. They all look at each other and one says to the other two: "Ok, which of you two morons farted?" Q: When in Greece, how do you separate the men from the b...

Beyonce

So I saw Beyonce at a coffee shop yesterday and she was looking on the ground and all over for something so I asked her what she was looking for. She said she lost her cell phone and it was somewhere in the coffee shop. I said well I can call it, ...

Yo Mama Has

Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle. Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses. Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it. Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper. Yo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree. Yo mama has on...

Redneck Christmas

In a small Texas town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. But one small feature bothered me: the three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or expl...

Yo Mama So Greasy

Yo mama so greasy, you could fry a chicken dinner for 12 on her forehead. Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo mama so greasy, her freckles slipped off. Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil ...

Yo Mama So Stank

Yo mama so stank, the only dis I want to give her is a disinfectant.  Yo mama so stank, even dogs won't sniff her crotch.  Yo mama smells like the Flash's nuts after a hard day of runnin'.  Yo mama so stank, when you were being del...

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